Love Is Surrender

Think i need to do this.

Was doing alot of thinking lately. I can't explain why
i always have this feeling of uncertainty. Perhaps God
is telling me something. I have been advising ppl and
frens about surrendering. About giving up things that
are not meant for us.
I should advice myself instead. Cos i am the
one watchin the sand falling rapidly to the ground
from my tightly quenched fists.

I duno how to begin sharing this...i feel i must be
firm, and be a man of my words. When i said let go,
means let go. Basically, i felt like i went back to
square one...i am starting to do the same thing all
over again...i am starting to get close to her(no
wisdom). In fact we talked almost everyday. My hopes
went up as usual, and there i go, telling myself all i
do is to be a fren, so when she needed someone, i can
always be there. I am tryin to do things for her as a
friend, unknowingly(or knowingly) i am still attaching
myself to her life....and tryin to push her into
mine....something is gotta be done here....

I admit , i really dunno how to look at her and be
convince i will be happy enough to see her as a simple
friend. Deep down, i know i wanted us to evolve,
somehow, with God's blessing, we can be together. Man
was i so confident. I was so wrong to think this way.
Cos i believe if things are not goin to work out, or
if she happens to be with another person, i will be
crushed.
i used to think that will be the ultimate
sacrifice...that i will do my best to be there..even if
i know eventually i will be broken if things happen in
a way that i have not expect it to be..i am still
tryin to get close to her...i am not letting go....i
didnt live up to my words...i didnt live up to my
promise. I should run away and hide....and pray to God
to make this rain stop.

I am living in my dream. And now i want to be awake.

And slowly, i will sip through her life...i will be
silent. I want to be a friend again. i want to please
God, by not putting myself in jeopardy, or let Satan
have the chance to make me sin. I think i still
cherish us as friends. And i dun want to hate her for
anything. Cos i love her. And to love her is to let
go...and go away.



Love is Surrender.




" I'm wrapped, around your finger, like the ring on
your hand. I'm trapped, by your love, i'm lost, please understand......"