Hey.
Enjoying the silence of the night...not really silence but the serenity of the night. Of cos i have those lovely oldies to keep me company. Why do i blog? Perhaps it's because i need to speak to someone. I am speakin thru my blog now, and it feels good. And of cos no physical being is here. Just me and my words. But it feels good.
Kinda enjoy these days of seclusion(in a way). No one to 'invade' this world of mine. This quiet world. God has been quiet. God's silence is the loudest when you need Him the most. But i am alright. I know He is always here...but He is just quiet. Ok, perhaps at this moment God and me can enjoy this silence together. Nah He gave me lovely songs for companionship. So it's good. How long will we be quiet? How long will this period of silence be? I kinda enjoy it. It serenades me. And it's good.
Music, yes, music. It's been a helpin factor lately. Havent written any songs for years. I remember i has this little excercise book during sec school days. I will faithfully wrote all my tots and inspirational words in it. I will make songs without melody. I still cant make melody now, cos i dunno how to play a guitar. This book is my personal treasure. This little indulgence of a book. All my emotions in it. It's such fun to just write songs back then. Back then I wana be the biggest rock star in my circle of musician friends. MUSIC is everything! so much faith and hope and love for it! It's wonderful 24/7 music!! Alas my ex guitarist took the book from me, sayin he will make melodies out of my words. It never came back......i never see it again. Thinkin back....i kinda miss that little book now.
I want to start writing again. I might not be good with tense, and stuff like that...but each word that i wrote represents the sentimental values from my heart...and it's that true, that precious. It ain't easy being myself sometimes. Perhaps to write is a way for me to make myself better..like blogging. I was havin this funny thought. Perhaps i will quit my job and concentrate music full time. My job has always been secondary to music....sometimes even tertiary or worse.....man, my passion fer photography is that shallow now...i am getting worried. Five years on the same job.....now i dun even feel alot for it. Am i burned out for my profession? Or is it because i can't stand the industry? Or is it music? God is still silent. Perhaps I will ask Him when we are thru with this silence........I know it will be good then.
Oh well, it's 2 AM. And theres work tomorrow..........gotta sing some lullabies and catch some sleep.
∂ 2:08AM Fri 3rd Mar 2006
